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Jitters

Posted on: February 19, 2010

I could sit in a corner all day today. With my back up against the wall, I feel almost infallible yet, hollowed. I guess it is self-doubt is welding a spade and digging a bear cave in my chest.

Tomorrow’s the first day of the final exams for the semester. As with all exams, I wish for the day never to arrive. Ever. However much you have prepared before seems to be an unlikely line of defense for the battlefield of questions that are to come, and that is what scares me the most. This insufficiency, this… self-doubt. You can’t brush it off your shoulders nor can you hold a decent persuasive conversation in your head to convince yourself everything is going to be alright.

Potential cure? Distractions. Distractions seem timely. Unfortunately, distractions are a temporary deterrence to the main issue at hand. As so, it is fleeting. Oh so brief.

Then, what should I do? Wait. Waiting’s probably the best cure for the moment. In hopes of quelling the incessant fear that runs through my veins like a slow poison. (18 hours, 24 minutes and counting.)

Well, like the saying goes: “If it happens, it happens.

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